Written Apr 07 '07
Pros: Great fight sequences, abs
Cons: Movie is too short, I hoped for a little more fighting.
The Bottom Line: If you've never seen a rhino get killed this is the educational opportunity of a life time.
I know it brings out manly features but when a man actually WEARS makeup, doesn’t the action cancel out the result? It’s a double negative of manliness. Anyway, lets get to the review. This movie is good, really good. Not owning a fast food restaurant and having a fast metabolism good, but GOOD. The story was good, the CGI and fighting were GOOD, the scenery was good. You know what was GREAT though The one liners. The “we will fight in the shade,” the “even God-kings can bleed,“ THAT is what has been missing from movies.
Why has it been missing Where did this cinematic gem go It went off and became Governor of California. Ever since Schwarzenegger retired actors have been struggling to take his place. The Rock tried it but he had breast reduction surgery, not exactly action hero material. Jackie Chan tried it but is now too old to do his own stunts (yeah, I’m sure it’s actually because he is worth too much for the studios to take a risk, Mhmm). Christian Bale is trying but his personality is too bland to be the new face of action hero. To quote Don Rickles, he has the personality of a dead moth. Well, onscreen personality anyway, I don’t have cameras in his home. I would say the only man that is even CLOSE is Hilary Swank. Come on, I’m just joshing you, she’s a pretty girl.
300 taught us that goats can play musical instruments, it taught us that Persian Messengers can’t fly, it taught us that it’s hard to stay in shape when you have swords for arms (pushups and dumbbells are just IMPOSSIBLE). Give this movie a try, it’s blood thirst the whole family can savor.