Written: Apr 29 '04
Pros: This movie has a lot of action and even more witty puns
Cons: The guy playing hellboy got arrested in the 80s, he is a changed man now
The Bottom Line: Don't worry Christians this movie's main character is not the devil, he is a good guy. Go see it, don't be shy.
Hellboy is a great movie I am not gona lie to you, or am I? No...no I won't. Instead of lying to you I will tell you the cold hard truth about this movie, truth you won't hear from the reviewers who get payed by the movie industry for giving good reviews. *cough*Ebert and Roeper *cough*.
Hellboy is a powerful middle aged man with the mouth of a witty army commander and the skin of an Indian. Oh I'm sorry is that not politically correct? We can't mention people's skin color anymore? If I was to say David Letterman is white would you get offended?
Anyway, Hellboy is about a super hero who's name has something in common with the title of the movie, I won't give it away you have to go and see it. Although he is not as strong as superman, as agile as spiderman, or as good looking as 007, He does have a certain Junoesque about him.
An evil Nazi has come back to life after 60 plus years and Hellboy is the only man who can stop him. The Nazi is not alone mind you, he has the demons of hell by his side. No, I'm not talking about the Oj jury, these demons are not as evil.
Hellboy is helped by a fish man who's name slips my mind, lets just call him Monica Lewinsky for now. Monica Lewinsky is a scaly skinned, highly intelligent being from Atlantis or some other forgotten city. Together these two carnival side shows fight the evil Nazi and try to stop him from taking over the world! Drop what you are doing right now and go see this movie!!!! If you are doing something disgusting, wash your hands first.